Ramblings

Old wives tales,
what's that all about?
You mean young single girls
can't have sayings?
What do they really mean?
You know:
'When one door closes,
another one opens.'
That’s because he slammed the door so hard
on the way out that
the backdraft caused the other one to open!
'Every cloud has a silver lining:
Yeah, but when I look up at it,
a seagull shits in my eye!
'The grass is always greener on the other side.'
What they don't tell you is your boots get covered in shit
trying to get there!
'A bird in the hand is worth two in ..........'
I ain't even going there!
(Well I have ... but that’s a different post!)
So what’s the modern equivalent?
Any ideas?
Over to you!